


Last Words

by transdennisreynolds



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M, dennis isnt as much of an asshole as he usually is, mention of dee/waitress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:46:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6241690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transdennisreynolds/pseuds/transdennisreynolds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>how the gang goes to hell pt2 couldve went (essentially macdennis fluff; dee comes out too)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Words

**Author's Note:**

> this is v clearly based off the boat jail scene in the gang goes to hell pt 2  
> im still bitter abt rcg shoving mac back in the closet so this is a feel-good fic to help fix that
> 
> dennis is slightly out of character here for obvious reasons + the convos mostly between him, mac + dee

**DEE:**  As long as we're not gonna get outta here—and that looks like sorta where we're headed—is it okay if I just confess something? To get it off my chest before we die?

**MAC:**  That's a good idea. We shouldn't die holding things in about ourselves. Go ahead, Dee.

**DEE:**  [short pausing before pointing at Mac] Mac owns a Cowboys jersey! I saw him wearing it in the back office!

**MAC:**  [eyebrows shoot up] What?! That's a secret, Dee!

**CHARLIE:**  Don't say it's Romo!

**MAC:**  [gesturing dramatically] Of course it's Romo! Who else would it be?!

**DENNIS:**  Oh my God!

**CHARLIE:**  [offended screaming]

**MAC:**  I'm sorry! You don't think he deserves to be MVP? He's constantly overlooked!

**DENNIS:**  You are a traitor!

**MAC:**  How many Superbowls have the Birds won?

**CHARLIE:**  Shut up! Go Birds! [cawing]

**MAC:**  You know what? I've got something I wanna confess! [short pause] Charlie changes the prescription on Frank’s glasses to keep Frank dependent on him!

**CHARLIE:**  Oh! Why the hell you blowing up my spot, man?! I'm sorry, Frank! All right, fine! [rushed speech] As long as we're  _ tattling _ , Dennis ripped up all the letters your Dad wrote from prison! [nervous laugh]

**MAC:**  [uncharacteristically quiet] What? My Dad has been writing? Dennis, is that true?

**DENNIS:**  Yeah, man . . . but you were just gonna be talking about it all the time and he’d probably try to come to our house and kill us or eat our butts, y’know? I was trying to protect you, dude! [as an afterthought] And me!

**MAC:**  Does he still write?

**DENNIS:**  I dunno, pal, cause you never wrote him back . . . Hey, if it makes you feel any better I read all those letters and he never once said he loved you!

**DEE:**  [whispers] Yikes.

**DENNIS:**  He mostly just wanted you to send pornographic magazines and put drugs in your butthole . . .

**MAC:**  [looking down, clearly upset but voice stays quiet] I don't know what to say. I could've had a relationship with my Dad . . . but you ruined it. Normally I'd attack you, but I don't have any fight left. [sits down in the rising water and pulls his knees to his chest]

**DENNIS:**  Shit, man . . . I— I hurt you, I can see that. [crosses his arms and brings his hand to his chin] I should've left them alone, but I didn't want you to get your hopes up just to be crushed again. He's not a good person, Mac—

**MAC:**  [doesn't bother looking up at Dennis as he interrupts] It doesn't matter what you think, dude! He was  _ my Dad  _ and you had no right to control what was said between us.

**DENNIS:**  Mac, Christ . . . [sits down next to him, not too close] I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. [voice shaky] If I could go back and goddamn think instead of just doing, I would! You know I would! I can't stand to see you in pain like this, dude . . . [hands shifting nervously in his lap] You're the most important person in my life and I fucking hate that I’ve hurt you like this.

**MAC:**  [murmuring] The most important person in your life . . ? God, minutes before your death you're still lying through your teeth— 

**DENNIS:**  I'm not lying! It's the goddamn truth, okay? Sure, Dee is my sister, but you're like . . . Shit, I don't know! You're my best friend and . . . I love you, okay?

**MAC:**  Sure doesn't feel like it from where I'm sitting— 

**DENNIS:**  [turns toward Mac and subconsciously reaches for Mac’s knee before retracting his hand, not wanting Mac to shift away] Look, you have every right to wanna kick my ass for what I did and how I've treated you, but I need you to believe me when I say I regret ruining things with your Dad! I can't stand the thought of you hating me, Mac! And it's not because I can't deal with rejection, it's because I care about you! I care about your feelings! You're my best friend and— [deep breath] and since we're about to fucking die I'll just say it! Jesus Christ, Mac,  _ I love you!  _

**MAC:**  [confused] I— You already said that, bro— 

**DENNIS:**  I mean in the gay-way, dumbass!

**DEE:**  Holy shit! [Dennis shoots her a glare]

**MAC:**  [finally meets Dennis’ eyes with a “you better not be pulling my leg right now” look] I . . . what? You love me? Like . . .  _ love _ - _ love _ me?

**DENNIS:**  I said so like ten times. But yeah, God, I really do. I swear on my dead mother's grave. Hit me like a ton of bricks the other day— 

[Mac cuts him off by pulling him in for a quick, rough kiss. When he pulls away, his hands are still holding Dennis’ jaw and Dennis can't help but lick his lips as he stares at Mac, unsure.]

**MAC:**  [stern tone; shy smile] For the record I'm still pissed at you, dude. And if we get out of this alive I'm kicking your ass the second we’re on land.

**DENNIS:**  Sounds fair. But since the outlook is a bit disheartening, you should kiss me again.

**MAC:**  God, this has gotta be a dream. I'm gonna wake up any second now and this’ll all be over.

**DENNIS:**  If time’s running out, don't waste it talking. Shut up and kiss me, asshole.

[Mac lets out a breathy laugh before meeting Dennis’ upturned lips. The rest of the Gang exchange embarrassed and frustrated looks, genuinely happy for their friends, but uncomfortable with the excessive PDA.

Ten seconds pass and Dee clears her throat loudly, but neither of the two on the floor seem to be close to separating. In fact, Mac climbs into Dennis’ lap, straddling Dennis’ thighs, while he threads his fingers through Dennis’ hair. Charlie opens his mouth to protest, but stumbles on his words as Dennis slips his hands past Mac’s belt to grope his ass.]

**DEE:**  [sounding a bit panicked] Um, hello! We're trapped in a ten by ten jail cell! Keep it PG!

**MAC:**  [pulls back but keeps his gaze locked with Dennis’] Don't be homophobic, Dee.

**DEE:**  [throws her hands up and groans] Seriously? It's not the gay aspect that I have an issue with, it's that you’re humping my brother three feet in front of me!

**DENNIS:**  Oh come on, Dee! You wouldn't deny a dying man a last meal now, would you?

**DEE:**  All I'm saying is that you two grossly tactile jerkwads can tongue-fuck each other's throats  _ after _ we've all confessed.

[Mac frowns at Dee as he turns to sit in Dennis’ lap, pulling Dennis’ arms around his waist and intertwining their fingers.]

**CHARLIE:**  I thought we were tattling?

**DEE:**  Well, personal confessions might be more . . . freeing? Like a weight off your shoulders.

**FRANK:**  I'm game. Now Dee, since you suggested it, you go first.

**DEE:**  Me? Goddamnit, fine! I . . . Oh, I slept with my college professor to get a better grade . . . I was involved with some drug trade while institutionalized, I banged the Waitress, and I'm pretty sure I'm full-on gay.

**DENNIS:**  Whoa, what?

**CHARLIE:**  With the Waitress . . ?!

**MAC:**  What the hell, Dee? You're seriously not trying to outdo me right now!

**DEE:**  This isn't a goddamn contest, you asswipe! We just both happen to be queer! Hell, Dennis is too!

**DENNIS:**  For clarification, I'm bi. But you're a lesbian, Dee?

**DEE:**  Yeah, I just said that!

**CHARLIE:**  Has everyone in this goddamn group slept with the love of my life?!

**MAC:**  I didn't actually cause she's gross, but she wanted to—

**CHARLIE:**  Don't call her gross! I will strike you down!

**FRANK:**  Look, Charlie, she's not worth your time! Think of how much care you've given her and how many restraining orders she's filed against you as thanks! You can do so much better than that, Charlie! Don't waste your time on that goddamn bitch.

**CHARLIE:**  Do you . . . do all of you think I should give up on her?

[sheepish mumbling; a few “yeah”s]

**CHARLIE:**  Huh.

**DEE:**  So . . . I guess it's your turn, buddy.

**CHARLIE:**  I'm gonna pass.

**DEE:**  Okay . . . Frank?

**FRANK:**  Nah, zip.

**DEE:**  Alright. So . . . what now?

**DENNIS:**  Wanna play never-have-I-ever?

**Author's Note:**

> a shit ending i kno but as i said its still kinda a wip


End file.
